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Culture, race, religion, and family
Originally Published: June 18, 2004 ~ Last Updated / Reviewed on: November 23, 2007
 
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(1)
Dear Alice,

Dear Reader,

I completely understand where you are coming from, but you have to realize that this is YOUR life; not your parents. I am in the same situation and have been for five years now. I really fell for this guy and he happened to be black, also. My mom didn't approve at first, but after we had our child, she came around. My dad still hasn't met him, but he is still a part of me and my daughter's lives. I just don't pressure him about my situation; if I did, it could push him farther away. Maybe you should try this perspective, and let them come around at their own pace. When they realize that you are truly happy, that should be all that matters.

Sincerely~

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(2)
Dear Alice,

I am a very attractive, professional woman who is African American and date outside of my race. My problem was the men whom I dated were white and would not want to take our relationships further than dating. I always stood my ground and whether people stared at us or not, I let it roll off my back. I believe in love no matter what the colors of the partners are and despite my choices, will find someone who will feel the same way about me as I him and disregard anyone's opinion of our union.

Hang in there. I've raised a very successful, kind, and loving man whose wife is from another country and loves him unconditionally, regardless of what her mother says. I consider her mother a coward because she has never made a remark in front of me or my son. I would drop-kick that woman through the Goal Posts of Life real quick.

Viva La Difference!

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(3)

Alice,

To the reader whose "parents don't approve of interracial relationship":

I was in an interracial marriage and had it not been for some personal differences that made it difficult to truly unite, we would still be married. My family was exactly the same as what you have described, however I chose to ignore their opinions because I believed he was and still is a wonderful person. Keep in mind you cannot let others live your life for you and make your mistakes whatever they may be. So my little piece of advice is this: follow your heart good or bad and you can never go wrong. I have made up my mind that my marriage has helped me and my divorce has too. It allowed me to take a stand with my family. They have lost out on different avenues and experiences in my life, but at least I know where they stand on certain issues and they know where I stand. Hang in there and don't let anyone make you feel bad for loving freely.

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(4)

Alice,

HA! Just remember, if dating this guy feels right to you, then it is right. Skin color makes absolutly no difference, and even though it is tough to argue with your parents, simply tell them that their approval has no effect on you, because you see this man for who he is, not what color he is. And when people look at you funny, just look at them the same way, or better yet, smile, it confuses people!

— mysterious advice giver

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(5)

Dear Alice,

This is for Reader: Your parents should learn that your happiness is their happiness. It's not like you are doing anything morally wrong. Any relationship has its challenges; this is just another one in a different form. If you can overcome it together with your boyfriend, it will only make your relationship stronger and make you, and people around you, better human beings. People who pass judgment (when they don't even know you!) are ignorant and, most of the time, probably jealous that you are different, interesting, and have the courage to live life to the fullest.

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(6)
To the reader:

Listen, I understand you completely. My boyfriend is black and we have been together for a while now. My family is very racist and most of them have disowned me but its my life not theirs. I really love him and in the beginning it bothered me because of the comments from my family and everyone, but it's my life not theirs. If I am happy then they should be happy for me.

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