Dear Reader,

It's great that you're taking the initiative and investigating videos to use to educate your sons about sexuality. After all, parents are the primary sexuality educators of their children. Communicating with your kids about sexuality is an ongoing process; using videos is one way to begin or continue the dialogue.

Alice! doesn't provide or make videos available, but does offer information and resources. Sexuality videos that are current and frank are hard to find, but here are a few to preview and consider. You may be able to find other videos at your local public library, or by requesting materials through interlibrary loan. If you want to obtain your own copy, ordering information is listed for each video. At the time of this posting, prices of these videos range from $20.00 - 150.00 U.S. dollars.

Sex: A Guide for the Young
This 18-minute animated video for older adolescents discusses the issues that young people deal with before their first sexual experience. Topics include masturbation, orgasm, contraception, and sexual orientation, as well as common feelings, such as embarrassment and the idea of learning to be sexual. It's not perfect — it has some cultural biases, misinformation, and value judgments — but it's lively and humorous. The video can be ordered from The Media Guild at 858.755.9191.

Talking About Sex: A Guide for Families
This 30-minute video for youth ages 10 - 14 presents engaging animated vignettes of parents and kids discussing feelings, questions, and concerns about sexuality. Topics include puberty, sexual intercourse, masturbation, sexual orientation, sexual abuse, pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and contraception. It also includes a parent's guide and an activity book for kids. The kit can be ordered from Planned Parenthood Federation of America at 800.829.PPFA (-7732).

What Kids Want to Know About Sex and Growing Up
This 60-minute video for youth in grades 5 - 9 addresses puberty, sexual intercourse, AIDS, conception, masturbation, and peer pressure. The video can be ordered from ETR Associates at 800.321.4407.

Previewing the video before you decide to purchase and/or share it with your sons gives you a chance to think about the messages you want to share and the values you want to instill, as well as any "corrections" you may want to make. You'll be more prepared to answer questions that they may have, or raise your issues. If they do ask questions, remember, you don't have to know all the answers. You can tell your children that you can look up the answers, or you can find them together, on-line on web sites such as Go Ask Alice! and It's your (sex) life: Your guide to safe and responsible sex, a public education campaign of The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation.

Then decide if you want to watch the video with them as a family activity or to have them watch it on their own, discussing it together afterwards. Either way, having a fun family activity before or during the video, such as sharing a big bowl of popcorn or ice cream sundaes, may make it more relaxed or tolerable — for you and for them.

Acknowledge to your boys that it can be a little awkward or uncomfortable for parents and children to talk about sexuality. You can tell them how much you love them and that this is important to you to have a family that can discuss things with respect and privacy. You can also use everyday situations, such as while watching prime time television, soap opera programs, music videos, or wrestling, to talk with your sons about sexuality, sex roles, sexism, etc. (see Parents find porn in the boys' room in Alice's Relationships archive).

Of course, not every parent and/or child is comfortable watching sexuality videos; another option is to leave books around the house that your children can read on their own or together with you, such as, It's Perfectly Normal: A Book about Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health, and It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families, both by Robie Harris.

For tips on talking with your kids about sexuality, or resources for parents, children, or adolescents, the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS) web site has a section for parents and other adults.

Alice

Related Q&As

How do I begin to talk with my children about sex?