Dear Alice,

This is a response to the fifteen-year-old whose friends wanted him to smoke. Please, please, please, do not do it. I grew up in a country where about 80 percent of men smoke. My dad started smoking at fifteen, to be like his friends. He tried to stop or cut back several times, but couldn't do it. Then, he got lung cancer and died when he was just fifty-six. During his last month, he was in terrible pain that couldn't be completely controlled with the best painkillers. Later I read some studies that showed that smoking for even a short period of time increases your risk of getting lung cancer or other complications in the future. I just want young people to hear this from someone who experienced the pain and the loss caused by a cigarette picked by a teenager. It's not worth it; please, say no to smoking.

Still Grieving

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(2)
Alice,

I would please like to respond to the submittal entitled, Friends say, "Smoke!", with the inquiry by a fifteen-year-old being pressured to smoke cigarettes.

You are obviously an intelligent person to have decided to research this decision prior to making it. I was very impressed by the way that Alice gave you the necessary information to make your own decision.

Your inquiry caught my eye because you are a reflection of myself ten years ago. I am twenty-five-years-old and was faced with the decision to smoke cigarettes when I was fourteen. You've had people tell you not to smoke probably, and you've heard what Alice had to say regarding the risks and health issues involved. You've also heard what your smoking friends have to say. But I think I can give you something else to think about.

In the eighth grade, I made the decision to smoke. All of my friends were doing it. And all of my friends were making fun of anyone who didn't. In an effort to achieve maturity and acceptance, I began to smoke. In the first few months, it was no big deal because I didn't even inhale. Then, it was once in a while. Then, it was just a few cigarettes a day. Then a pack every other day. Well, you get the point. By the time I reached high school, I was a full-time smoker all the way until I graduated college. I made my decision to quit, ironically, for similar reasons. I found myself surrounded by people who didn't smoke. I was an outcast and considered very unappealing.

However, as time went on, I discovered what cigarettes had taken from me and this reassured my goal to quit and keep quitting. I took a trip with some friends and did some hiking in the mountains. Upon reaching some higher elevations, I finally found that my body had a limit. This was not discouraging until I realized I was the only one in the group feeling the effects. To make a long story short, the last hour of the hike was with the assistance of my friends. They had to carry my equipment and basically carry me because my lungs were no match for theirs. I couldn't breathe and even collapsed on one occasion. It has been a few years now without cigarettes, and I can still feel the effects of smoking when engaging in any form of activity.

My point is to give you one other thing to think about in your decision... do you think you may regret your decision later? You have a lot of life left, and hopefully I do as well. I smoked for eight years, and I can honestly say that it didn't gain me anything but regret. The friends that convinced me to smoke are no longer in my life. And I'm glad, because the only friends I intend to have are those who carry me up the mountains.

By experience, I can tell you that you'll be faced with an unimaginable amount of important decisions in the next ten years. For me, that was the biggest one. And I chose wrong.

- Looking Back

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(3)
Dear Alice,

I would like to respond to a past question titled, FRIENDS SAY, "SMOKE!" The individual is trying to deal with the fact that although he knows that smoking is unhealthy, his friends routinely call him a loser for not wanting to become a smoker.

Well, Alice, I am an American living permanently in Finland, a country where frequent and heavy alcohol use/abuse is commonplace and regarded as "normal," despite the obvious concerns. I have been to numerous parties where there is a lot of pressure to drink, even though I generally do not like alcohol. I have been called a loser as well, and every time other people see that my glass is empty and I haven't asked for more, they say "this is wrong. When your glass is empty, you ask for more."

In situations like that, I have developed this philosophy: "If these people thought I was normal, I'd worry about myself."

Any true friend will respect your decision, especially when it is based on valid health concerns.