My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for 9 months... He's the first guy I've ever been with this way. He's been with a couple other girls and was tested for HIV about 2 years ago. After he'd been tested, he had been with one other girl. He thinks it's a good idea if he gets tested, but because he knows I've never been with anyone else, he doesn't think I need to be tested... What do you think? I think I should be tested, just to be safe.

Alice values how responsible and caring you both are. Why not let your boyfriend get tested first? If he's HIV-negative (and he probably is if his past sexual experiences were safer ones), then you probably are, as well. If you'd like more peace of mind, then getting tested is a good idea. You and/or your boyfriend might also consider being tested for other sexually transmitted infections (STIs), such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, and genital warts (HPV).

By the way, your boyfriend's reasoning is a bit off; just because someone has never had a sex partner does not necessarily mean that s/he is automatically HIV-negative. Alice wonders when your boyfriend was tested (i.e., how long after sex with his first two partners?). This time period is important to the accuracy of the HIV test. Plus, he was with someone after his last test — a possible risk factor where you are concerned. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE TESTED AFTER EVERY SEXUAL ENCOUNTER, and if you have safer sex every time you get intimate, you probably don't ever need to be tested (though getting a negative test result does help with peace of mind).

For more information on HIV testing, read HIV transmission: When does it show up on a blood test?. You and your boyfriend can also search through Alice's Sexual Health archive for more safer sex, HIV/AIDS, and other STI info, and/or you can contact these organizations and agencies to get more answers to your questions:

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's (CDC) National STD and AIDS Hotline

1.800.342.AIDS (-2437) / 1.800.227.8922

New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene AIDS Hotline

1.800.TALK.HIV (825.5448)

Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC) AIDS Hotline

1.800.AIDS.NYC (243.7692) / 212.807.6655

CDC National Prevention Information Network

Alice

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