Dear Wondering,

So, your cup runneth over. Like penises, breasts, vaginas, hands, feet, noses, and almost every other endowment, testicles and the sack (scrotum) that they sit in vary in size, shape, and texture. The degree to which this hormone- and sperm-producing hardware descends differs from man to man, too. Temperature sometimes plays a role as well: "your boys" (thank you, Kramer) pull closer to your body when you are cold, and "hang out" when your thermometer is in the comfort zone. This automatic action keeps sperm at their required temperature. (Don't worry, Alice isn't going to suggest that you pack your privates in ice before your next track meet.)

Have you tried wearing underwear or a jock strap one size smaller than the ones you usually sport? If they don't cut off your circulation when you're moving about, these briefer briefs might give you that extra support you need to both reduce your pain and reduce your anxiety about how you look in shorts. Staying with sporting goods, do you have proper shock-absorbers? Do you wear shoe cushions and sneakers that help buffer the violent pounding of many athletic endeavors that rattle even the tiniest of testicles? The same goes for your bike seat: additional padding is often essential for a smoother ride.

Even if you're really strolling around in shame over your bountiful basket, Alice and her male friends wouldn't be a bit surprised to learn that you are actually the envy of your teammates, some of whom have no doubt contemplated stuffing their stockings with a sock or potato to boost their profiles.

Alice

Related Q&As

Scrotum sense

Large testicle — is it dangerous?

Will just one testicle tamper with sex life and fatherhood?

Groin chafes during exercise

Riding high testicle