Dear Sex distressed,

Via the internet, it's impossible to diagnose with certainty the burning feeling you get after your partner ejaculates — if your symptoms continue a visit to your health care provider is in order. If you are a Columbia student, you may call x4-2284 or log into Open Communicator to make an appointment.  It is possible that you have a semen allergy. Symptoms like burning, pain, and swelling typically start 20-30 minutes after contact and can vary in severity and duration. For more information read Allergic to semen? in Alice's Sexual Health archive.

It's also possible that you have a form of vaginitis (inflammation of the vagina). Bacteria and fungi (like yeast) grow in the vagina of all healthy woman, and as you suspect the balance of those microorganisms can be upset by changes in pH levels. Common forms of vaginitis include yeast infections and Bacterial vaginosis (BV). Vaginitis may make itself known through abnormal discharge, mild or severe itching or burning of the vulva, chafing of the thighs, or frequent urination.

Semen may be the trigger altering your vagina's chemistry. Other possible triggers are lowered immune resistance; douching; birth control pills; antibiotics; or, cuts, abrasions, or other vaginal irritation (friction from intercourse, fingers or fingernails, or tampons). Your partner can also transmit an infection if s/he has one. Birth control pills do not offer protection from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). When considering not using condoms with a sexual partner, in addition to talking with your partner, it's a good idea to both get an STI check-up.

Friction from intercourse can irritate vaginal tissues, and may make you more susceptible to vaginitis. To combat friction and prevent vaginal irritation, you may want to add water-based lube into the mix during sex. You can also try peeing both before and after intercourse — the acidity of the urine tends to kill off and wash away bacteria. Also, for both you and your boyfriend, washing your hands and genitals before you have sex may make a difference. If you have a true semen allergy, having your partner drink plenty of water before and during sex can reduce the acidity of his semen, which may make it less irritating.  

Now, on to anal sex. For many people the anus is a highly sexually sensitive area, so feel free to explore. There is nothing wrong with anal sex if both partners enjoy it. However anal tissue is delicate and easy to damage, which can increase the risk of HIV transmission. If you and your partner have not been tested for HIV, it's smart to use a condom (this would also eliminate the ejaculation concern). Remember that the anus is not as elastic as the vagina, so be gentle. Go slowly, wait until you're relaxed, and use plenty of water-based lube (not petroleum jelly!) on your partner's penis or fingers.

Your comparison of anal sex to an enema may be misinformation. It's true, you may need to use the toilet afterwards to expel the combination of lube and semen that typically accumulates during anal sex. But there's no reason for anal sex to lead to loss of muscle control that would cause a cleansing like an enema, and the amount of liquid from ejaculate and lube probably isn't enough to flush anything out either. Even though there's no reason for anal sex to cause any enematic action, you could try to time things for when your bowels are relatively empty if you have concerns.

For any kind of sex, it helps to have open communication with your partner, telling him or her what feels good and what might hurt, and if you feel discomfort, as well as helping your partner pace his or her movements to your needs.

Alice

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